I tried on my cap and gown today and it hit me I only have one month left before I enter the adult world.
I go to a school that’s something akin to a paradise donut with a sinful cream filling. I can see the beach and fit college students roaming around in bathing suit trunks and bikinis right outside my window. No matter how hot it gets, the breeze from the ocean is cool against your skin and at night the local college town host a slew of parties that would make Jay Gatsby proud. Alcohol flows like water here. But we are hard workers. We work hard and play hard and enjoy our youth to its fullest.
I stood looking at myself in the mirror with my cap and gown, feeling simultaneous emotions. I am excited, thrilled even. For four years I have been working towards this moment. I draped the stole over my gown, followed by the cords for the honors society to get the full effect of what I will look like that day. And then it hits me. In one month I am leaving my beautifully tan little beach town behind. I think of the new home waiting for me in desert. I already miss this place and I haven’t even left it yet.
Through my 4 years of college I’ve never really felt like an adult. I know that legally I am one – I can sign contracts and buy beer – but I feel to irresponsible to consider myself grown up. I mean I get good grades, I work, I clean up after myself, but there seems like there must be something more to it. It doesn’t help that despite being 22 I still look like a teenager.
It scares me, the prospect that in a few months I’ll be responsible not only for myself but a roomful of preteens. I’ve been trying to set a goal for myself each week, aside from sifting through my masses of reading, papers, extracurriculars, to make myself more confident in my ability to become an adult. In case you’re curious this week is actually responding to my emails.
Anyway the point of this post is to remind all you college students out there, from Freshmen to those of you graduating very soon, enjoy this time. Enjoy it to it’s fullest extent because right now we get to be carefree and exuberant and live our lives according to our own rules. But soon we’ll have to be responsible, soon we’ll have to be adults. Let’s enjoy this in between stage for just a little longer.
I took off my cap and gown, folded everything, and neatly placed everything back into the bag. It’s time to grow up, but I’m going to make sure that I fully enjoy this last month.